My husband, Joe, is the co-owner of a small business, 12th End Sports Network (TESN.US). His business partner is Brian.
My husband is a curler. He had me learn to curl a few years ago also, as he loves it so much. It has become a family sport. He and one of his curling friends created 12th End Sports Network. They webcast curling events, and have created a way for curling clubs to webcast their leagues weekly, both through live viewing and archiving the games. They have brought U.S.A. Curling Nationals in to the homes of viewers across the country, and my husband has been "the voice" of the webcast as he commentates the events.
The hardest part of my year is when he walks out the door to spend more than a week away from me. His business requires that he travels to where the event are taking place. It seems when he is gone for those 10 or more days, that everything that can go wrong does... and I am here holding down the fort. It is not an easy role, and it is one I fought against every being put in. It is one of the reasons I didn't tell him I had feeling for him the moment I realized I did. I spoke to him about my feelings prior to my first "I Love You". I had told him that I couldn't be in a relationship that would require my husband to spend long periods of time away from me. The fact that my heart already LOVED him won out.
It hurts my heart every time he leaves. I suffer from anxiety, and as we are planning for his trip, I can feel the anxiety increase more and more. It doesn't help that my husband is an insulin dependent diabetic, and he is not the best at eating right. My grandfather passed away due to this. It is scary knowing he is so far away, and I cannot care for him.
Another reason my anxiety is heightened is because many people in my life have lost loved ones while their loved one was traveling away from home. I know it is an unusual number, and that in reality, my husband is fine. However, I still have the ones who passed away while RVing, traveling abroad, etc, in the back of my mind. I have memories of loved ones rushing to find a flight to go get their loved one who suffered a heart attack and is now in the hospital in another state. I have watched loved ones struggle to make arrangements to bring loved ones home. I sit there with the knowledge that I am home, not making any money, and I do not have a credit card (as my identity was stolen a few years ago), and I have health issues, so if something was to happen to Joe, I would have NO WAY to go to him. I have no control over the situation. I haven't met the people he works with while he is away, other than Brian, and I have no finances while he is gone. I feel trapped, and I am alone. Most of the time I cannot even talk to him. The lasy 2 years he has not even been able to Skype me once while away on his trips. It is a very scary situation to be in. I hate that I feel this way, and have tried to work through it, but his long trips away are never going to be easy. I hate them, and I feel the tears in my eyes, and my heart begins to race,and it is hard to swallow when I think of him leaving me again for another "business trip". It is even worse when I know he has left. That is when the full panic attack sets in. I get sweaty, my heart races, my stomach turns in knots, my hands shake, I feel like I could pass out, I get a funny taste in my mouth, I feel hot all over... and I have to breath through it until he returns.
That being said:
As a faithful and supportive wife I still encourage and support him. I pack goodie bags and care packages for Joe, and his business partners, and his volunteers. I do my part, even if I do it with tears in my eyes. My job, as his wife, is to love him, and to support his dreams. I want my husband to reach his goals and to make his dreams a reality. I plan surprises for him, and try to have surprises waiting for his return. I pack love notes and cards. I hide gifts in his bags. I wait for his phone calls.
Today I am reaching out to all of my AWESOME readers to help me show my husband support.
My husband is up for a Streaming Award for his webcast. The broadcast with the most votes will win an HD Camera, which would greatly benefit my husband's small business. I am asking for all of my readers to cast a vote for 12th End Sports Network by going to the link, selecting their business, voting by clicking "3", and filling in the few required boxes. I only takes a moment. It is quick. It is easy. And it would greatly benefit my husband, which is also a huge favor to me!!
My husband helped me to set-up this blog, to keep me from going stir-crazy while I am home with my disability. This blog is a way for me to tell my truth, to get my story out. I appreciate every one of my readers. I appreciate my husband for always supporting me. Please help my husband, vote TODAY!
Voting closes on June 30th. Thank You!